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Converting to Islam

Posted Saturday, October 24, 2009, at 6:11 PM

In the year 610 AD, the prophet Muhammed received a divine message from Allah. He was commanded, by Allah, to start a new religion called Islam. Over the next 22 years, Muhammed spoke for Allah and the Muslim empire overtook the Arabian Peninsula.

After Muhammed's death, the Muslim empire continued to expand over the centuries. Muslim expansionism and indoctrination by force has been taking place now for 1,400 years.

These days, there exists a radical Islamic organization called Al-Qaeda, ostensibly led by Osama bin Laden, with the stated objective of exterminating Infidels (non-Muslims) from the face of the Earth and creating a global Islamic Empire.

On Sept. 2, 2006, Al Qaeda's deputy leader, Ayman al-Zawahiri, issued a videotape to "all Americans and unbelievers" announcing that "God sent his prophet Muhammad with the religion of truth" and that it was his duty as a Muslim to give the enemy a chance to convert to Islam or face the wrath of his merry band of terrorists.

Gee whiz, I thought. All I have to do is wrap a towel around my head, change my name to Booga Booga Mujaminkuvwxyz and bow to the East a couple of times a day to get this nut job off my back. No big deal.

So I made a few notes, in the form of a multiple choice quiz, just to see if I wanted to go through with it.

1) In 1972, athletes at the Munich Olympics were kidnapped and killed by:

A) Jehovah Witnesses

B) The Salvation Army

C) Keebler Elves

D) Meals on Wheels

E) Radical Islamic Terrorists

2) In 1979, the US Embassy in Iran was taken over by:

A) Boston Red Socks

B) Detroit Red Wings

C) Chicago White Socks

D) Knights in White Satin

E) Radical Islamic Terrorists

3) In 1983, the US Marine barracks in Beirut was blown up by:

A) Sergeant Pepper

B) Captain Kangaroo

C) General Electric

D) King Kong

E) Radical Islamic Terrorists

4) In 1988, Pan Am Flight 103 was blown up by:

A) Mr. Clean

B) Dr. Phil

C) Judge Judy

D) Uncle Ben

E) Radical Islamic Terrorists

5) In 1993, the World Trade Center was originally bombed by:

A) Albert Einstein

B) Sigmund Freud

C) Carl Jung

D) Monty Python

E) Radical Islamic Terrorists

6) In 1998, the US Embassies in Kenya and Tanzania were bombed by:

A) Simon & Shuster

B) Thelma & Louise

C) Johnson & Johnson

D) H & R Block

E) Radical Islamic Terrorists

7) On September 11, 2001, four airliners were hijacked and flown into crowded buildings by:

A) The Mormon Tabernacle Choir

B) The Boy Scouts of America

C) The Cleveland Cavaliers

D) The Grateful Dead

E) Radical Islamic Terrorists

8) In 2002, reporter Daniel Pearl was kidnapped and murdered by:

A) Bruce Wayne

B) Clark Kent

C) Betty Crocker

D) Whoopi Goldberg

E) Radical Islamic Terrorists

9) In 2003-2009, scores of suicide bombers perpetrated mass murders by:

A) Apache Indians

B) Jedi Warriors

C) Moody Blues

D) Dixie Chicks

E) Radical Islamic Terrorists

The first thing I realized was that these radical Islamic terrorists seemed to be up to a lot of mischief and I really didn't want any part of it. Oh sure, it would be fun to slaughter Infidels but some of them might fight back.

It also occurred to me that if I were to join this collection of pinheads I would be eligible to be greeted by 72 virgins in the next world. This sounded very tempting at first, but I soon realized I could only handle about 11 or 12 virgins at any one time.

So I decided not to convert to Islam and take my chances in the boondocks of America. Islam may be Al-Qaeda's vision of eternal bliss, but I'll stick with freedom of (from) religion instead.

If you value anything more than freedom, you will lose your freedom. If you value security or money or comfort more than freedom, you will lose it too. None are so hopelessly enslaved as those who falsely believe they are free. And those who would give up freedom for security are entitled to neither.

Live free or die.


Quote for the Day -- "I know not what course others may take, but as for me, give me liberty or give me death." Patrick Henry


Bret Burquest is an award-winning columnist and author of four novels. He lives in the Ozark Mountains with a dog named Buddy Lee and where the price of freedom is an independent attitude. His blogs appear on several websites, including www.myspace.com/bret1111




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Converting to Islam

I am writing this messange because I have a very big problem. My name is Giovanni and since last month I have decided that I wanted to convert to Islam. I have a friend his name is Essam Khalaf Naguib Gerguis that I have always considered as a brother and him too. He is a christian orthodox Egyptian. Since the day I told him that I wanted to become a muslim I have received death threats from him. He is currently in Canada and I am in Egypt and fortunately we are far from each other but he says that he has hired someone from his family in Egypt to kill me. He is serious about it. He says his relative will not stop until he finds me and kills me. I really do not know what to do. I really feel that he is serious about it. Since he is not a canadian citizen yet I was thinking to advise immigration Canada about his threats. I was also thinking to let the federal police of Egypt know about that. I am waiting for any comments that could be of any help.


-- Posted by gioquebec on Sun, Jul 4, 2010, at 9:22 AM


I feel that writing an article about Islamic terrorism while ignoring Christian terrorism shows a lack of objectivity, and simply a desire to target Islam. Why attack Islam for its contributions to terror when Christianity has contributed far more?

If one doesn't agree that that is the case, one simply needs to compare the death toll of the 9 events listed above (and in fact all Islamic terror acts in recent history), with the 1.3 million killed in Iraq in Bush's Crusade. Not to mention the countless other wars of aggression fought by the USA, drone attacks in Pakistan etc.

I wholly agree with your final paragraph.

-- Posted by lucidnitram on Sat, Nov 7, 2009, at 6:08 PM

To lucidnitram

While I don't consider myself an atheist, I do enjoy the chosen ignorance of Agnosticism.

Like you, while reading the article I kept waiting for the typical Christian, Neo-Con response one expects to find in a paper like this. But he never mentioned Christianity because it was an article about Islamic Fundamentalism. I would hardly call nine, factual instances of Islamic terrorism in the last forty years cherry-picking. And he does go on to say that he'll "stick with freedom from (of) religion instead," which I interpreted as a comment on the inherent ridiculousness that the basic tenets of Islam entail, as well as those of Christianity.

There exists today a knee-jerk reaction in the minds of the educated that ideologically the only things that can be considered wrong are the values on which you were raised. It reeks of spoiled, politically correct, American intellectualism. While diversity and tolerance are important when it comes to viewing things like Islamic Fundamentalists, we as a society should never tolerate intolerance. That being said, the Muslim faith is wrong. So is Christianity. And Judaism. And Buddhism. That's right. Even Buddhism. Religion is wrong.

-- Posted by youln on Mon, Nov 2, 2009, at 6:55 PM

I'm an atheist and you won't find me defending religion often. However I find your article to be venomously Islamophobic and short-sighted.

You cherry-pick a few terror attacks from history and use them to justify your attack on Islam. You fail to mention IR655 (ostensibly the REASON for Lockerbie), but that was an 'accident' perpetrated by the Americans so that's fine. Although no terror attack can be justified, context is important.

The elephant in the room that you ignore is the dizzying amount of innocent people that have been killed by Neo-con Christian terrorists in the USA. 1.3 million in Iraq along in the most recent war. Are you going to eschew American values and attack Christianity the same?

No, you're not. Your hypocrisy dumbfounds me and this is the last of your articles I will read; I feel that your views can safely be ignored.

-- Posted by lucidnitram on Sun, Oct 25, 2009, at 6:05 AM

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Bret Burquest
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Bret Burquest is a former award-winning columnist for The News (2001-2007) and author of four novels. He has lived in Minneapolis, Los Angeles, Miami, Atlanta, Kansas City, Memphis and the middle of the Arizona desert. After a life of blood, sweat and tears in big cities, he has finally found peace in northern Arkansas where he grows tomatoes, watches sunsets and occasionally shares the Secrets of the Universe (and beyond) with the rest of the world.
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