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Saturday, Sep. 20, 2014

Who Said It??

Posted Wednesday, December 14, 2011, at 1:07 PM

1) "The world is more like it is now than it ever was before."

A) George Carlin

B) George Bush

C) Arnold Schwarzenegger

D) Dwight D. Eisenhower

E) J.D. Salinger

2) "A boy's best friend is his mother."

A) John Lennon

B) Bugs Bunny

C) Luke Skywalker

D) Norman Bates

E) Jack Nicholson

3) "Solutions are not the answer."

A) Richard Nixon

B) Groucho Marx

C) Vladimir Putin

D) Hillary Clinton

E) Captain Kirk

4) "I'll be back."

A) Sitting Bull

B) Gypsy Rose Lee

C) Frank Sinatra

D) Jane Fonda

E) The Terminator

5) "To improve is to change -- to be perfect is to change often."

A) Greta Garbo

B) Muddy Waters

C) Willie Mosconi

D) Tiger Woods

E) Winston Churchill

6) "Talk low, talk slow, and don't say too much."

A) D.B. Cooper

B) John Wayne

C) Herman Melville

D) Johnny Carson

E) Elmer Fudd

7) "Always take hold of things by the smooth handle."

A) Thomas Jefferson

B) Hank Aaron

C) Erma Bombeck

D) Jasper Lamar Crabbe

E) Daniel Boone

8) "Sometimes I feel like a fire hydrant looking at a pack of dogs."

A) Daffy Duck

B) Joe Namath

C) Bill Clinton

D) Buddy Hackett

E) Lady Gaga

9) "As long as you're going to be thinking anyway, think big."

A) Donald Trump

B) Brittney Spears

C) P.T. Barnum

D) W.C. Fields

E) Madonna

10) "I have always depended on the kindness of strangers."

A) Cool Hand Luke

B) Lois Lane

C) Blanche DuBois

D) Batman

E) Boris Karloff

11) "You can't process me with a normal brain."

A) Barack Obama

B) Dan Quayle

C) Bob Dylan

D) Fox Mulder

E) Charlie Sheen

12) "A woman is the only thing I am afraid of that I know will not hurt me."

A) Mick Jagger

B) Abraham Lincoln

C) Jerry Lewis

D) Jerry Lee Lewis

E) Davy Crockett

13) "Death is not the worst that can happen to men."

A) Jerry Seinfeld

B) Vlad the Impaler

C) Wonder Woman

D) Geronimo

E) Plato

14) "You can't trust anybody with power."

A) The Lone Ranger

B) Newt Gingrich

C) Mahatma Gandhi

D) John the Baptist

E) John Quincy Adams

15) "I'd just like to be treated like a regular customer."

A) Elvis Presley

B) Hulk Hogan

C) Johnny Depp

D) Eleanor Rigby

E) Pee Wee Herman

16) "I have high expectations for the future because the past was highly overrated."

A) Carl Sagan

B) Bart Simpson

C) Barbara Walters

D) Jay Leno

E) Sylvester Stallone

17) "Until you're ready to look foolish, you'll never have the possibility of being great."

A) Oprah Winfrey

B) Sid Caesar

C) Cher

D) Shirley MacLaine

E) Joe Biden

18) "It is better to be alone than in bad company."

A) Minnesota Fats

B) Kim Kardashian

C) Carl Jung

D) George Washington

E) Jeremiah Johnson

19) "The foot feels the foot when it feels the ground."

A) Buddha

B) Johnny B. Goode

C) Doris Day

D) Dr. Phil

E) Rhett Butler

20) "The measure of who we are is what we do with what we have."

A) Vince Lombardi

B) Hugh Hefner

C) Lindsey Lohan

D) Crazy Horse

E) Teddy Roosevelt

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ANSWERS: 1-D, 2-D, 3-A, 4-E, 5-E, 6-B, 7-A, 8-C, 9-A, 10-C, 11-E, 12-B, 13-E, 14-B, 15-A, 16-E, 17-C, 18-D, 19-A, 20-A

SCORES:

20 -- You are either a liar or a cheater or incredibly lucky

16-19 -- You need to get a life

10-15 -- Very good

5-10 -- Not bad

4 -- Random answers yield the same results

3-0 -- You are below random (a.k.a. a loser)

_

Quote for the Day -- "He must be very ignorant for he answers every question he is asked." Voltaire

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Bret Burquest is the author of 7 books, including THE REALITY OF THE ILLUSION OF REALITY and ORB OF WOUNDED SOULS (available on Amazon). He lives in the Ozark Mountains with a dog named Buddy Lee and where hypothetical questions get hypothetical answers.

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Boldly Going Nowhere
Bret Burquest
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Bret Burquest is a former award-winning columnist for The News (2001-2007) and author of four novels. He has lived in Minneapolis, Los Angeles, Miami, Atlanta, Kansas City, Memphis and the middle of the Arizona desert. After a life of blood, sweat and tears in big cities, he has finally found peace in northern Arkansas where he grows tomatoes, watches sunsets and occasionally shares the Secrets of the Universe (and beyond) with the rest of the world.
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