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Imaginary Friend Comments

Posted Friday, October 5, 2012, at 12:58 PM

I was watching the first 2012 presidential debate the other night, with several of my imaginary friends who found it quite entertaining, based on some of their comments during the procedure. I jotted a dozen of them down to share with you.

1) "He's not completely useless -- he could be used as a bad example."

2) "I would follow him anywhere, but only out of morbid curiosity."

3) "He sets low personal standards then fails to achieve them."

4) "Does fairly well when cornered like a rat."

5) "Hard to believe he beat out 1,000,000 other sperm."

6) "His family tree has no branches."

7) "He should go far -- the sooner the better."

8) "Has delusions of adequacy."

9) "When he open his mouth, it's only to change whichever foot was previously there."

10) "Somewhere a village is being deprived an idiot."

11) "He's so dense light bends around him."

12) "If you stand close enough to him, you can hear the ocean."

Yes, most of my imaginary friends are chuckleheads. They observe the folly of non-imaginary humanoids and are not bashful about expressing opinions of the absurdity of those who eagerly seek to be governed (administered, supervised) by other non-imaginary humanoids.

Some quotes by previous U.S. Presidents who seemed to understand the true role of government.

"Government is not reason; it is not eloquent; it is force. Like fire, it is a dangerous servant and a fearful master." George Washington (U.S. President #1)

"Remember, democracy never lasts long. It soon wastes, exhausts, and murders itself. There is never a democracy that did not commit suicide." John Adams (U.S. President #2)

"I predict future happiness for Americans if they can prevent the government from wasting the labors of the people under the pretense of taking care of them." Thomas Jefferson (U.S. President #3)

"I believe there are more instances of the abridgement of freedom of the people by gradual and silent encroachments by those in power than by violent and sudden usurpations." James Madison (U.S. President #4)

"It is only when the people become ignorant and corrupt, when they degenerate into a populace, that they are incapable of exercising their sovereignty." James Monroe (U.S. President #5)

"You will never know how much it has cost my generation to preserve your freedom. I hope you make good use of it." John Quincy Adams (U.S. President #6)

"The duty of government is to leave commerce to its own capital and credit as well as all other branches of business, protecting all in their legal pursuits, granting exclusive privileges to none." Andrew Jackson (U.S. President #7)

"The less government interferes with private pursuits, the better the general prosperity." Martin Van Buren (U.S. President #8)

"America will never be destroyed from the outside. If we falter and lose our freedoms, it will be because we destroyed ourselves." Abraham Lincoln (U.S. President #16)

The ever-expanding power and control of the central national government is not rendered harmless by the good intentions those who created it -- a power base attracts those who seek to promote self-interest and control others, therefore the scope of government should always remain limited in order to insure individual freedom.

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Quote for the Day -- "Talkers are usually more articulate than doers, since talk is their specialty... The big divide in this country is not between Democrats and Republicans, or women and men, but between talkers and doers." Thomas Sowell

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Bret Burquest is the author of 9 books, including THE REALITY OF THE ILLUSION OF REALITY and 11:11 EARTH TIME (available on Amazon). He lives in the Ozark Mountains with a dog named Buddy Lee and where imaginary friends occasionally have lively conversations.

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Thanks Bret...I needed that laugh today. My imaginary friend was laughing also!

-- Posted by Bigozarkhill on Mon, Oct 15, 2012, at 1:52 PM


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Boldly Going Nowhere
Bret Burquest
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Bret Burquest is a former award-winning columnist for The News (2001-2007) and author of four novels. He has lived in Minneapolis, Los Angeles, Miami, Atlanta, Kansas City, Memphis and the middle of the Arizona desert. After a life of blood, sweat and tears in big cities, he has finally found peace in northern Arkansas where he grows tomatoes, watches sunsets and occasionally shares the Secrets of the Universe (and beyond) with the rest of the world.
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