As little girls, we look forward to the whole prince charming and white dress thing called marriage, yet rarely ever question the where the road after the ceremony may lead other than what we read in fairy tales as a child. We trudge through life and follow the logical series of events, in no particular order...go to school, get a job, get married, have kids and then what?

Being a parent becomes our primary role in life and sadly, our marriage tends to take back burner to parenting, work, finances and other activities. There is barely enough time in our busy lives to do the have to's, let alone time for the want to's. At the middle road of our lives it is so easy to find ourselves questioning our purpose and even doubting if we made the right decisions, after all, if we had, why would we suddenly be so bored with our lives? Perhaps it is the slowing pace, or maybe because we never realized we had prioritized things that really shouldn't have been priorities. I think these things are a normal part of aging and questions brought on by the high expectations we have of the whole marriage idealism, such as a never ending romance, that, in actuality, usually ends with the honeymoon then we are down to reality and all it brings with it.

We tend to get accustomed to the ordinary daily grind and never venture outside of that proverbial box to do things more fun and exciting. As humans we like comfort and an even pace... but for how long? As the years fly past, we find reprieve in the ordinary and become comfortable in the usual things. Then, by the late thirties, as our children have nearly grown and are venturing out into the world, they need their parents less than when they were younger. We then can become angry with ourselves for allowing our lives to get to that point where we have little to do but be parents, yet, at the same time, we realize we are solely responsible for the direction our lives have taken.

As I turned 40 and reflected back on my life, I offer these tips of hard found wisdom to those who are much younger than me, in hopes they will grasp them and quickly put them into practice. For me, 40 was a very hard year, as not only did I turn 40, but my shortly before, my baby girl (only daughter) also turned 18 and her impending graduation left me with mixed emotions. With that came the realization that I will, at some point soon, be living with two men who are just alike, and unlike us girls in the house.

They do not find any pleasure in buying flip flops, tanning, make-up, clothes, laying out in the pool and finding a good sale. They hate being in any store other than a farm supply store or Home Depot for more than 10 minutes and find sitting home watching a race to be real entertainment. I am so scared my life will become lonely with my daughter becoming engrossed in her new life and, as my best friend, that is something I am not quite ready to look square in the eye.

I dreaded graduation night like I dreaded getting diarrhea. I later found out it wasn't as bad as I thought it would be, mostly because I had cried all I could cry before and also had a little humorous help from my daughter's boyfriend at the ceremony to keep me from spilling more tears. Well that step is over and I am so glad. I was so proud of her accomplishments and realized she too must move on to her own life, yet the sadness of that process is what is the hardest thing for me to bear. Just as she was born, it seems only yesterday and the days until I turned 40, too have flown by ever so quickly. So as I celebrated (if that is what you should call it) the "F" word, I decided to try to get the stress out, by my favorite stress reliever.... Writing.

I hope each of you enjoys these 40 tips, most of which I learned the hard way, others I learned too late and some if I could go back and start over with the knowledge I now possess, I would gladly choose to do. As a side note, on the night before my daughter's graduation, I gave her this "to live by" list when she too was going through a difficult relationship hurdle and she seemed to be greatly touched.

40 THINGS TO DO TO MAKE LIFE MORE FULFILLING:

Most of all, love yourself, and realize, your mistakes are not yourself, they are your actions... God didn't create mistakes.