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Thursday, Apr. 24, 2014
Scott Walker, Mrahahaha
Posted Wednesday, April 11, at 9:43 AM
Being a civil servant is one of the best jobs for a lifetime of security and relative ease and comfort. The perks are good. The hours are steady, and a being could spend the day moving the same set of papers from one pile to another and still get paid. It is employment nirvana...

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John Derbyshire was Right, Damn it
Posted Sunday, April 8, at 11:33 PM

One of my recent pet peeves is that I hate phoniness and lies. I am, however, all in favor of good manners, of a being waiting his turn in line, of not budging, of saying please and thank you and of not stealing anything, but I hate the average lie...

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Getting out of Dodge, a Cautionary Tale
Posted Thursday, April 5, at 12:36 PM

I should have known that getting out of Dodge wasn't going to be easy, that perhaps it wasn't going to be without some drama, karma and some fanfare. I was leaving the Golden State, dagganbit, the home of Marilyn Monroe, James Dean and Pixar Animation...

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Not Your Average Bear(s)
Posted Sunday, April 1, at 8:23 AM

I consider myself an intelligent being. I can divide, do basic dance steps, drive a car and write a check. But lately, I've been wondering if my two canines don't have one over on me because no matter how I try to plot and plan things out, they always come up with an angle I never thought of, that usually winds up costing me...

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Geraldo was Right as Rain
Posted Wednesday, March 28, at 3:36 PM

Ernest T. Bass, the town Hillbilly on the "Andy Griffith Show," shared a tidbit about possums in Miss Krump's fifth grade classroom during the episode when he tried to get an elementary school diploma. But as fate would have it, he was also talking about life and the overly zealous liberal population...

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Sage Advice for Job Seekers
Posted Tuesday, March 27, at 7:57 AM

Dear Readers: Do not let this happen to you. Never, and I mean ever, apply for a job at dawn with a cold and little sleep because you might mess up and not get the job. Here is but one example, if you will. "Dear Serge: It is essential that you hire me to write for your publication. I grew up in the area, have a love for the community, which is why I moved back from LA, and I like to write...

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How I Flunked Self-Defense
Posted Sunday, March 25, at 11:01 AM

I started taking Israeli self-defense, or Krav Maga, after being stalked by a crazed lesbian. It is a long but true story. Not that I, in the spirit of political correctness, have anything against lesbians or crazy people. It's just that I don't like that kind of attention, be it from anyone, a man, woman or hermaphrodite. ...

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George Zimmerman,Current Poster Boy for Racism
Posted Thursday, March 22, at 8:55 PM

If I hear one more word about George Zimmerman, the current poster boy for racism, I am going to cancel any future donations to the NAACP. (Not that I was planning on making anyway, but that isn't the point here.) Given Zimmerman's background and propensity for violence, shooting 17 year-old Trayvon Martin may have been racially motivated or not. Only time will tell, but the whole incident would barely have been a blip across the computer screen had Zimmerman been black and Treyvon white...

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Calling all Kindly Landlords
Posted Wednesday, March 21, at 9:07 PM

Dear Kindly Landlords: I am a former Chicago expat, who went somewhere over the rainbow to the never-never land of Los Angeles, but who's now returned, and I have a humble request. Being a living, breathing organism, I need a place to live. Scratch that. My dogs, Mookie Moo and Bitsy Boo, and I need a place to live...

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The C'est la Vie School of Classroom Management
Posted Sunday, March 18, at 8:16 PM

I've always been studying the fine are of swearing. Maybe it's because I heard some real choice ones every-so-often growing up; maybe it's because I know their healing powers in staving off ulcers and the like, or maybe it's because in the end, there's nothing like the power of a heartfelt swearword to make the world seem like a brighter place...

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Marilyn Haggerty: Accidental Anti-Snark Crusader
Posted Thursday, March 15, at 5:20 PM

There's a new restaurant review that has given snarkiness a little shove over the edge, at least for the next few days. It started when Marilyn Hagerty, a restaurant reviewer from Grand Forks, North Dakota wrote a review for a locak Olive Garden. There was not one nasty comment or one snarky sentiment in the whole piece. Shortly after she posted, it went viral and she made the morning talk show circuit...

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To Karen and Dan
Posted Monday, March 12, at 12:47 PM

Sometimes a name from my sometimes checkered past will come into my head and I will google the person or look for them on Facebook. Sometimes I barely recognize the person; they've changed and morphed so much. And sometimes I am sorry I even started anything...

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Shantelle Hicks, Planned Parenthood is Looking for You
Posted Friday, March 9, at 9:16 AM

It is 15 year-olds like Shantelle Hicks and her lawyers that make me consider taping my Republican membership card back together and going to one of thei rallies. After the powers that be at Hicks' school, Wingate Elementary, a K-8 boarding school in New Mexico, learned that Hicks was pregnant, they expelled her. ...

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The Beauty of Birth Control
Posted Tuesday, March 6, at 9:45 PM

Forget what I recently said about the people of Colorado and their drivers. They've just gained some clout in my book after authorities handcuffed an eleven year-old girl for being rude and argumentative in school. Some may say, "How dare they," but until the girl's lawyer comes a calling, it will be one small step for all teachers and one giant leap for mankind, that is, until the lawyers come a calling...

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I Swear
Posted Monday, March 5, at 12:46 AM

One of the first words anyone learns in a foreign language are the swear words, and there's a reason for that; they are wonderful. That is why when I dabble in a foreign language, I always keep myself apprised of them. They don't require and conjugating, they help bridge cultural gaps and at the same time they let me know if anyone is talking about me...

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Dear GOP: Deliver us from Rush Limbaugh
Posted Sunday, March 4, at 7:24 AM

Dear GOP: Could someone come and collect Rush Limbaugh before I burn my GOP membership card? I know he's not the type to hang out on the English countryside and drink tea with pinkie extended. I know he's no yogi, but he really outdid himself by calling Sandra Fluke a "slut" and a "prostitute" after she appealed to Congress for insurers to cover women's contraceptives...

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Avoiding Colorado
Posted Thursday, March 1, at 12:05 PM

Now that I've had time to recover and regroup from my cross-country drive, it is time for a rating of each state on AAA's Northern Route scenic tour. The dogs and I started off in the west with the intentions of going east in a whirlwind of let's see this country bravado. (In truth, I had no idea what they dogs were thinking and probably projected the thoughts onto them.)...

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Beware, the Scouge of Internet Dating
Posted Monday, February 27, at 4:40 PM

It's a good thing I learned about breathing deeply during yoga. The strategy will help me until my three-month nonrefundable membership on an internet dating site expires. Since joining the latest one the past three days ago, my emotions have run the gamut like a ping-pong ball during a game...

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Coming Home Again
Posted Thursday, February 23, at 10:06 AM

Before driving back to Chicago, an acquaintance who is also from the fair metropolis but vowed never return for fear of freezing his gottkes, long underwear or whatever off, said that you can't go home again. Wanting to be polite, I merely gave him one of those California looks and stared around his chin, but inside I scoffed and thought, "You can, and I will."...

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Making a Living Where People Drive Cars
Posted Sunday, February 19, at 12:53 PM

I've thought of a way to make a handsome living in Chicago, or in many other major cities where people drive cars. It is to own a parking garage. The idea came to me after driving around to get to an event that I never made it to partially because I couldn't find parking. ...

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I'm Not Crazy -- It's Them
Gail-Tzipporah Saunders
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Behold, I, like many others before me, come forth with a new blog. Mine, however, starts off with posts about the joys and wonders of pepper spray then branches out to other maladies as well.
Hot topics
Shantelle Hicks, Planned Parenthood is Looking for You
(7 ~ 11:46 AM, Jun 11)

Scott Walker, Mrahahaha
(2 ~ 8:20 AM, Apr 12)

John Derbyshire was Right, Damn it
(4 ~ 11:32 AM, Apr 10)

Getting out of Dodge, a Cautionary Tale
(0 ~ 12:36 PM, Apr 5)

Geraldo was Right as Rain
(4 ~ 9:02 PM, Apr 4)