Kindly file this under "Do Not Let This Happen to You." It all might have started when I decided to move, or even when I was conceived. I do not know which. I noticed it when I walked past a mirror outside a store and noticed that my lips were moving and it looked like I was talking to myself.
Or when I invited my sister over for dinner and forgot to show up because I decided to go shopping. I tried making amends by springing for some Chinese take out that I brought to her apartment. But any any make up mirth did not last long after I accidentally spilled some wine on her new couch. Several years prior, I coaxed her out of the house during a rainstorm, even though she had a cold, with the promise that I would buy her the raincoat she wanted for her birthday. Shortly after she found the item, I asked her to stand in line so I could go to the fitting room and try on a blouse I liked. When I came out, she had already gone through the line and paid for her own gift.
As I drove back home, she cried, "It's not that you are bad. It's just that you are Spaaaacey!!"
I was glad that she at least understood. The problem is that I never mean any of it even when it backfires on me.
It popped up again, during the time of the move when I will make the trek across the country past the snow-capped mountains and across the fruited plains to my hometown of Chicago.
But having things on the moving van requires some organization and preparation. So somewhere between one box and another, I packed away some of my shampoos and conditioners and packed them into the trunk of my car. All that was left in the hair care grooming department were my dogs' conditioner and a people shampoo we both use because the vet said we could.
But after shampooing my own hair, I realized that my conditioner was in the trunk of my car and that my dogs' salon formulated one was the only one that was left.
I then recalled a math theorem and reasoned that if A equals B, then B must equal A, then I should be able to use my dogs' conditioner on my head. So I poured it on and awaited the results. It was not the best idea because while my mane was soft and fluffy, it looked like I stuck my finger into an electric socket. And as a caveat for anyone in the same position, it does not come out so easily. So, if you ever come across animal grooming products remember that they may not be formulated for human consumption. That, and try and rememebr dinner dates and your obligations to others amd when moving, always remember to pack the grooming products last.