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Wednesday, Aug. 20, 2014

The Beauty of Birth Control

Posted Tuesday, March 6, 2012, at 9:45 PM

Forget what I recently said about the people of Colorado and their drivers. They've just gained some clout in my book after authorities handcuffed an eleven year-old girl for being rude and argumentative in school.

Some may say, "How dare they," but until the girl's lawyer comes a calling, it will be one small step for all teachers and one giant leap for mankind, that is, until the lawyers come a calling.

I've long since learned that some parents and their mini mes could make Ahmadinejad look like Ward Cleaver. For I have known those who have accused their teachers of lechery after glancing at their Pop-tart and Cheeto ridden frames, who fall asleep in class and accuse the teacher of not knowing how to teach once they wake up and get their report cards, and who spurt out whatever comes into their rap and Cheeze It ridden minds regardless of who is talking or what is going on. Meanwhile, the school often sides with the Cheeto-riddled to avoid getting sued, which is often what winds up happening anyway.

I don't believe my eighth grade math teacher is around to see this. He used to sweat over our papers, which recently led me to believe he either had a condition or a conference period before class when he went jogging around the field behind the school. But no one ever commented about their moistened papers because we knew it would have been curtains and a trip to the principal's office before being sent home, where things would really start to go bad and not to our advantage, either. Nowadays, they would try and have him written up or leave the room the first time he broke a sweat.

Having been part of the system, I already know how this one played out. The teacher asked the Dorito-ridden one to do something that she didn't feel like doing, like change seats. Several minuets went by, so the teacher asked again throwing in some "please" and "thank yous" to avoid being labeled as a racist. The Dorito fueled one refuses and calls the teacher a racist and some unprintable names. After the teacher calls security, they show up and repeated the whole process. The girl threatens to sue and/or get them fired before flailing like a beached whale and being led away. Testing by the school psychologist will reveal that the child has ODD, or oppositional defiance disorder, and will be let off while the teacher will be required to take sensitivity training and classes about the disorder.

When learning of her child's arrest, the girl's mother said, "They're treating them like criminals, and they're not. They're kids."

But she is only half right. They are criminals in training.

Rather than paying people to have children like we've been doing, we should be paying them not to have them and offer perks like expense-paid vacations and free cars and washers and dryers as added incentive. I would even be happy to donate my own Sears-Kenmore washer and dryer or pay higher taxes as a responsible member of society.



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I'm Not Crazy -- It's Them
Gail-Tzipporah Saunders
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Behold, I, like many others before me, come forth with a new blog. Mine, however, starts off with posts about the joys and wonders of pepper spray then branches out to other maladies as well.
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