High: 50°F ~ Low: 45°F
Friday, Nov. 21, 2014
Not Your Average Bear(s)Posted Sunday, April 1, 2012, at 8:23 AM
I consider myself an intelligent being. I can divide, do basic dance steps, drive a car and write a check.
But lately, I've been wondering if my two canines don't have one over on me because no matter how I try to plot and plan things out, they always come up with an angle I never thought of, that usually winds up costing me.
Take the food arena. If reincarnation existed, then one of them was either a foodie or a san sous chef in a past life. In the past three years after I rescued him from the pound, he has scarfed down many an item found at the local grocer's.
Some foods that have crossed his palate are:
A chicken sandwich fed to him by my neighbor who had the cahones to ask me if I ever feed him, a slab of meatloaf on the front lawn of the neighborhood funeral home, an ear of corn that I got out of his mouth after lifting both the cob and mongrel by the stick, an orange peel that I had to tap him on the nose to relinquish it, a squashed Peppermint Pattie near an elevator, and some tuna sandwiches he scarfed down as I bent down to make nice and pet him, and more recently a strawberry and cheese Danish I planned on finishing until it too because history.
But the worst and the most expensive one was the raisin-eating incident. This was when in the midst of spring-cleaning, I sealed the lid on a canister of raisins, tucked them in a bag, put them in a closet and left for several hours to run some errands. They were there when I came home, but when I went for my standard ten-minute daily jog, the four-legged vacuum cleaner had gotten in and eaten enough to make a homecoming cake for a football team.
Now I may not have been raised on a farm or anything or in the city with dogs, but this I know, that raisins are on a dog's never to be eaten in large quantities list. It is one item in a list that includes grapes, which are merely hydrated raisins, chocolate, onions and garlic. These things can shut down a dog's kidneys and kill him, or in cases like mine, lead me to large bills at the vet.
After I found his face in the canister with most of the raisins gone, I called the nearest emergency animal hospital, because they are smart creatures and will only do these things after the regular vet is closed. The receptionist said I had a window of thirty minutes to get there.
I had my suspicions as to who did it, but because he and the other dog work as a team, I put them both into the car and told the ssupected culprit that he did a very bad thing while he stood in the back seat wagging his tail.
Once my suspicions were confirmed, he had to spend the next twenty-four hours under veterinary care. The cost? $1,200.00, though I am the prepared sort and have PetPlan pet insurance which picked up most of it without cancelling us over this and some other things.
Beware, they are smart. They can hear a butterfly landing on a tree in the next county and smell a corned beef sandwich being placed on a plate a mile away. Between the two of them, I have had to replace two blue tooths that they flattened, a pair of shoes, part of a Victoria's Secrets shopping spree, papers and one nearly chewed a twenty dollar bill before I retrieved it. But if given the choice, I would march back to the shelter and do the same thing all over again. And they think that animals are dumb.
I'm Not Crazy -- It's Them
- Blog RSS feed
- Comments RSS feed
- Send email to Gail-Tzipporah Saunders
Behold, I, like many others before me, come forth with a new blog. Mine, however, starts off with posts about the joys and wonders of pepper spray then branches out to other maladies as well.
Hot topicsShantelle Hicks, Planned Parenthood is Looking for You
(7 ~ 11:46 AM, Jun 11)
Scott Walker, Mrahahaha
John Derbyshire was Right, Damn it
Getting out of Dodge, a Cautionary Tale
Geraldo was Right as Rain