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Wednesday, May 4, 2016

Walking With Jackie the Ripper

Thursday, May 20, 2004

Jackie seems accident prone to me. When she was tiny she jumped out of my arms and, though I was unaware of it at the time, broke what the vet called "a growth plate" in her left leg. It didn't bother her when it happened but as she has gotten older it is obvious that something is wrong.

One of my friends called it to my attention by remarking, "You know, Martha, your little dog is cow hocked." Not knowing what she meant, it hurt my feelings, so I took Jackie to the vet and she explained the problem to me. She did not want to do surgery at this point, fearing much pain and suffering might result. Not to Jackie. To me.

Sometimes she gets stuck in drain pipes, too. I always keep her on a long lead so I can pull her out, and as yet I have never had to call the firemen, but it may happen. Wonder what they charge?

Cats chase her home frequently. I believe she would climb a tree if she could. That seems really odd to me.

My mother had one special expression she used a lot. When something strange would happen around our house, and lots of strange things happened around our house, she would remark, "You know, it's just enough to make a person wonder!"

My granddaughter is accident prone. Worse even than Jackie. Almost from the day of her birth, she has been a tragedy waiting to happen. If the grapevine was going to break, she would be the one to fall. If a tricycle was going into the ditch, she would be steering.

As a matter of fact, Heather vows she has a guardian angel who has kept her on this side of eternity. A few years back she walked away from a tremendous car wreck which totaled the vehicle and caused other problems, but she walked away from it.

She has been bitten by a brown recluse, stung by numerous wasps, broke her wrist doing cartwheels, fell out of so many trees we lost count, and had her heart broken more than once.

While still in college she made headlines by being robbed at gunpoint when she came in late from a date. After shoving the pistol into her forehead hard enough to cause bruising, the drug addict took the nine dollars the young couple had between them and ran off for a fix. Probably didn't get much for nine dollars, though I have never known much about buying dope. (I do know about prescription drugs. They are high.)

Telling me about it later, Heather said, "Grandma, what idiot would rob college kids? Everyone knows we are the poorest of the poor."

With humility I need to tell you that she is a very pretty woman and the fitting finale to the event was that after they caught the robber, he tried to call her from jail. Collect, if you can believe it. She did not accept the charges.

One good thing came of the whole affair. The young policeman who investigated the incident fell in love with her on the spot, (as I mentioned, she is a knockout) and they have been married now for over two years.

I can just hear Mama saying, "You know, it's just enough to make a person wonder!!"