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Wednesday, May 4, 2016

Boldly Going Nowhere

Wednesday, April 25, 2007

The Secret

Apparently, there's a secret that has been floating around throughout the ages and discovered by a select few people, such as Aristotle, Plato, Isaac Newton, Albert Einstein, Martin Luther King, Carl Jung, Henry Ford, Thomas Edison, Winston Churchill and others. These great people of history were "past secret teachers."

Inspired when she read the 1910 classic "The Science of Getting Rich" by Wallace Wattles, author Rhonda Byrne has created a DVD (and book) titled "The Secret" sharing her discovery of the secret teachings.

Basically, the secret is the law of attraction. In other words, whatever you wish for can be yours. It's about positive thinking, as well as visualizing what it would be like to obtain whatever you wished to come true.

"If you think you can do a thing or think you can't do a thing, you're right." Henry Ford

The Law of Attraction has four steps.

Step 1: Visualize your goal. Close your eyes and picture what you desire in your mind. Then imagine the desire has already come true. Imagine how it would feel. Imagine how it would smell.

Step 2: Believe your desire will materialize. Don't worry about how or when; just concentrate on the fact that it will become realized. It will happen. Continue to believe and the Law of Attraction will make it come true.

Step 3: Keep the faith. Doubt brings about failure. You must never sway from the desire. You must realize there is no other option than to succeed. You must believe everything you think about will come true.

Step 4: Be fearless. Be relentless. Do not procrastinate. Do not waiver at the critical moment. Do not sabotage your pending success. When the opportunity presents itself, you must boldly grab it.

Being a lazy person with a powerful imagination, this sounded like the perfect gimmick for me. So I spent the better part of several months imagining what my life would be like if I could achieve my lofty goals.

"Imagination is more important than knowledge." Albert Einstein

There I was, locked in my imagination, living a life of glory, dressed in purple, wearing number 50, knocking down Bears and Lions and Green Bay Packers. I was a middle linebacker for the Minnesota Vikings.

But no matter how hard I concentrated on my desire, I was never even asked to show up at Viking training camp. I was basically stuck on step 3. Even though my imagination was impeccable, doubts began to creep in.

Perhaps, I was being a bit unrealistic. After all, at 62, I might actually be a little too old for professional football. I needed to come up with a more attainable goal; something that was unlikely to happen yet possible.

Although I was a dashing figure of a man with plenty of wit and wisdom, I always found it difficult to hook up with the right woman. In fact, I usually found it difficult to hook up with any sort of woman at all. So I decided I would visualize a desirable, compatible woman who would enter my life and we would live happily ever after.

First of all, my ideal woman doesn't have to be perfect. Although I'm nearly perfect myself, perfection in others is too much to expect. Finding a compatible mate is hard enough without being unreasonable about it.

Physical traits aren't too important. Tall or short doesn't matter, a few extra pounds are okay, athletic types are ideal, a full set of teeth is desirable and a certain degree of attractiveness helps. But no redheads (too fiery).

More importantly, she must be an intelligent, even-tempered (no bizarre mood swings) introvert, with a sense of humor, who likes dogs and prefers to stay at home. Plus, she should be a fire sign (Aries, Leo, Sagittarius) so we would have an astrological compatibility (I'm a Leo). And it would also be really nice if she actually liked me.

Every day now, I visualize this woman. She knocks on my door and utters something like "Hi there, big guy. I understand you're looking for me." Then our eyes meet and we instantly fall in love ... or maybe not.

I may never be a professional middle linebacker but somewhere out there is a semi-perfect woman who has nothing better to do with her life than hang out with me. But don't knock on my door before noon -- I sleep late.

Thus, the secret is a secret no more. But for me, it's been a big waste of imagination -- so far, anyway.

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Bret Burquest is an award-winning columnist and author of four novels. He can be contacted at bret@centurytel.net.