It's tough to be a liberal these days.Now that we've again seized control of the dean's office -- this time as the dean -- we have to face a horde of new student radicals, those little fascist sons of Republicans who, instead of burning the American flag on the lawn of the administration building, are pledging allegiance to it. It's surreal, man.Oh, the good old days, when socialism was fashionable. When we could hold demonstrations for Pol Pot and Mao and Castro (before they went bad, of course). When we could castigate our government for its imperialism and condemn the cops for their brutality and spit upon our soldiers for baby killing in Vietnam.Now Americans are pointing their fingers at US! Don't they know we're the intellectual elite? They accuse US of being baby killers just because we freely exercise our right to terminate our pregnancies. They accuse US of brutality when we stand up for cop killers when they even the score. They accuse US of imperialism because we support global socialism.Socialism isn't imperialism. It's fairness. It's equality. Yeah, sure, we personally may be making $150,000 a year, but that doesn't make us part of "the man." Our money isn't for possessing but for progressing, not for oppression but for expression.And since Sept. 11 it's worse than ever. Fundamentalist sexist pigs in Afghanistan had to go and blow up the World Trade Center and the Pentagon. Admittedly, those are the two prime symbols of worldwide economic exploitation and the military-industrial complex. I sure hope those religious fanatics don't think they belong to our fraternity just because they hit the same targets we've been gunning for since the 60s. Our support is not that cheap.If they really want to join us, they'll have to throw away religion, liberate women and eschew nationalism. Their goal must be worldwide, religion-free equality, under the benevolent care of intellectual guardians such as ourselves. Nothing short of this will win our acceptance, no matter how many buildings they blow up.In the meantime, we have to put up with any army of cleancut, brainwashed kids spouting out poison about love of country, honor and duty. They're joining the military in droves. They're even praying -- PRAYING! -- in public places. Where the hell is the ACLU?We'd go to Russia, but it's becoming just as rightwing as the United States. And the standard of living has NOTHING TO DO WITH IT! We deserve what we get. Please don't lecture us about how American soldiers are risking their lives so we can continue to enjoy the blessings of liberty, including the right of free speech to criticize those same soldiers. They're fighting to protect the corporations, not ordinary PhDs like us. If they were really interested in OUR rights they would tell the board of trustees to beef up our 401Ks.All our work has been for nothing. All we have to show for it is a big house. And a pair of Volvos. And a lucrative stock portfolio. What we DON'T have is RESPECT from these little snot-nosed conservative kids waving their flags and Bibles. Oh, man.You just can't trust anyone under 30.