I've heard my share of home run quotes over the years. Some of them were not suitable to print for family newspapers.
Here are a few others we were fortunate to come across that were priceless:
"My doctor told me to stop having intimate dinners for four unless there are three other people." -- Orson Welles
"The only difference between death and taxes is that death doesn't get worse every time Congress meets." -- Will Rogers
"The secret to staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly, and lie about your age." -- Lucille Ball
"Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much." -- Oscar Wilde
"I destroy my enemies when I make them my friends." -- Abraham Lincoln
"There's so much comedy on television. Does that cause comedy in the streets?" -- Dick Cavett
"Women marry men hoping they will change. Men marry women hoping they will not. So each is inevitably disappointed." -- Albert Einstein
Musician Frank Zappa, as only he could describe something: "A composer is a guy who goes around forcing his will on unsuspecting air molecules, often with the assistance of unsuspecting musicians."
The late Walter Cronkite, who became emotional while giving us the ultimate play-by-play of Neil Armstrong's climb down the ladder on that July day in 1969: "Man is finally standing on the surface of the moon. My golly!"
I remember covering the 1984 Liberty Bowl, where Auburn topped Arkansas, 21-15, but the Hogs probably would have won had Bobby Joe Edmonds not dropped a sure TD pass. He blamed it on being "too wide open."
Auburn was led by legendary running back Bo Jackson, although he only had 88 yards on 18 carries. Arkansas All-America noseguard Tony Cherico, one of the more colorful Razorbacks I was ever around, was a freshman on that team. He was asked after the game what it was like tackling Jackson. Cherico's response: "I wouldn't know."
With college football season in full swing, here are some my favorite quotes from the sport:
From Larry Munson, the late voice of the Georgia Bulldogs, following a dramatic come-from-behind, 26-21, victory against Florida with a 92-yard touchdown: "Man, is there going to be some property destroyed tonight."
In Ohio State's annual rivalry game with Michigan in 1968, the Buckeyes led 50-14 late in the game when legendary coach Woody Hayes decided to pour salt in the wounds of the Wolverines by going for two. Asked why he opted to go for two, Hayes said, "Because I couldn't go for three."
There's an old quote by the late talk show host Tom Snyder. I've always thought of it often while listening to some radio play-by-play announcers if I'm caught driving down the road on a Saturday. The quote was about the late Mel Allen, longtime announcer of the New York Yankees and host of This Week in Baseball. Snyder remembered just how vivid Allen was in his relaying the game's information, stating, "The greatest game I ever saw was on the radio."
Another Munson classic, following a late victory over Tennessee with a short TD run: "We just stepped on their face with a hobnailed boot and broke their nose! We just crushed their face!"
I'll end this column now as I Google "hobnailed boot."